Where the bloody hell is my manual???

If you ever need more convincing that God is a male at least in his mental state, then please take notice that life did NOT come with an owners manual. The last week or two has without a doubt been the hardest in my life. I suppose we all must trudge through life taking what hits us and we are expected to simply “turn the other cheek”… Well.. my ass has been swaying back & forth for some time now, and I’m sick of it.. Religion really puzzles me. It’s something that asks you to put complete faith in something that you really have no idea whether it exists or not. And yet, to sway our faith, life is full of unfairness and sadness. Let’s face it, things happen that we all agree should not have. People die that are not suppose to. People live in luxury, and yet there are indeed people dying in poverty. I realize that this is just a part of human nature, something that unless Mr. Foley becomes rich and finds out how to fix, will not change. But how is it fair?
The big Guy upstairs & I have been on rocky terms now for over a year. My grandfather died from cancer about a year ago and it was really hard to come to terms with. I know, a lot of you, (rotf lmao, yeah.. do you like how I said “a lot”, like there are more than like 3, perhaps 4, people that actually read this) think, oh, it was his grandfather, he was probably old blah blah blah….but he wasn’t..He was in relatively good health and I swear there was not a bad bone in this man’s body. Now I love my immediate family to death, but granted my father has never tried for any “father of the Year” awards and I never expected anything more. But my grandfather was my father essentially… I remember driving home from the hospital one night pulling off the road and just hitting screaming at everything I could look/lay my hands on…It was hard….and left me with only one question: why?

Just the other day Allison’s brother-in-law’s nephew died at Children’s Memorial Hospital. He had Spinal Meningitis. He was six years old…..Why?

Now if God had given us the damn manual, these things would be a lot easier….but they are not… and now this family is left with “what if” questions.
Like I said, the past couple of weeks have been pretty hard, and to quote Chris again, those of you who need to know already do. I am sad because I feel like there is nothing else I can do, yet feel everything is still my fault. Solution? Easy…I’ll just turn to the troubleshooting section in my life handbo………….oh yeah…don’t have one….well shit….