Happy Holidays My Fat White America Ass......

Dear Bloggers.....
I am writing this on behalf of white middle class males everywhere. It seems that this "holiday" season is going to be one filled with more controversy and idiocy, than silver & gold. I am personally sickened with the notion that it is now essentially politically incorrect to say Merry Christmas....... Now, as you leave the Wal-Mart stores of America, you will not be sent off with a warming Merry Christmas, but yet a cold hearted "Happy Holidays".....Fuck that.... Seriously.... I'm as considerate to minorities and all kinds of religious sects as the next guy, but the red-blooded American in me cannot grasp the concept that we must now be careful who we say Merry Christmas to. Lest we forget our entire country’s origins…. Thank you ACLU….

WAKE UP AMERICA….(Insert Patriotic, Christmas sounding music here…..)


My fellow Americans, We need to take it upon ourselves to wish everyone we encounter a "Merry Christmas". If they are Muslim, Jewish, what have you…..tough shit I say…. As Steven Colbert said, It’s the one time of the year Christians can get away with it… Everyone will probably hate me for sayin it, but liberal extremists will destroy this country… You know, that or our horrible foreign policy, you know, one of those… Please join me and refuse to refer to that pine now residing in your living room as a "Holiday Tree"……I do not have a "Holiday Tree", I have a Christmas Tree….. and it’s real….but that’s a different debate….

Okay, Hopefully that last little interlude helped to cheer everyone up a bit… I would say it seems like everyone is down in the dumps, u know, if it had not already been stated by everyone else…. That’s what I get for waiting to blog… Not sure what is going to happen to those two planes in Urbana…. It was a strange week after that happened, just thinking about the whole death thing…

So mom called me on the way home from work today and happened to mention that dad was graduating tomorrow…Just gotta love how the parents give ya those nice less-than-24 hrs heads up…

Let’s see….Just to cover some bases here….
–Steve: It seems we all hit that wall at one point or another. God willing we all get through it one way or another. Good luck, and know that we all have your back……oh, and penis….

–Jon: Good luck w/ the bookstore over break….. I’ll take a copy of Kama Sutra and the Joy of Sex…that’d be great… Don’t get to cold up there.

-Brian: Sorry to hear about that….. I’ll be thinking about ya…. Hopefully you’ll get through your thesis w/o slitting your throat….It’s hard to do…. If ya ever need any help, Pat & I are here and have done it once and could tell ya every short cut possible…

Gabe: I’d probably kill ‘em… Nuff said…. Hopefully everything works out ok…. Just find something to hold onto to keep ya sane….like your art…. Hey, there’s an idea… Get really drunk & pissed off, paint some outrageous shit, and make thousands…….isn’t that how they all do it??

-Chris: Hey, build a snowman up there for us w/ the stovepipe hat, button, nose, and two eyes made out of coal…………..oh, and give it a gigantic penis, maybe the kids can help….

-Andy: Whats up nigga……ok, now that I have officially offended everyone in this blog….I must say as the most prolific blogger of us all….keep it up….your blogs will perhaps be published in a book, not much unlike Ringo published that 70 pg book of postcards, which had like only 35 postcards in it, barely legible, and the book sells for like $30- $40………Just an idea, u know, after the Watching Stars breaks up because Grayson gets caught w/ a prostitute, but he didn’t know it was a prostitute and………………….

Allison: I love ya babe, and although we are now paying more in bills than we are actually making, I’ve decided that you are going to have to turn tricks to pay our Road Runner bill…..