What if...

Wow…Can you believe we are almost out of college….well, most of us at least…. For those of you that have a year left…cough cough cough Steve…. Enjoy it while you can! Just as in high school we will be forced to say goodbye to people we have grown to love, and even hate sometimes. I mean…c’mon, I have hated all of you at one point in time…but I have also considered each and everyone of you a good friend as well. I hated leaving high school because of the friendships I created there, and I will hate leaving our cozy little campus. Most of us will be attending grad school so you guys still have some time to milk it…Others of us….um, ok,….me… will have to find a job out there…one I’m sure I won’t like anyways, and work my ass off to afford our new living accommodations…..MY GOD….I HAVE A HOUSE!!! Soon I will be graduating……then getting married…then a house! I am not sure if this where I had planned to be when I was 22… but then again I am not sure where I had planned to be…. A pilot somewhere probably…. Doing the things I loved to do…play soccer, play with my toys….yeah, believe it or not I made a pledge to myself to never throw away my toys…. I still have not… and I never will…I refuse to let go of the child inside of me… Part of me wishes every day that I was young again, to just go back and do it all over again. They say growing up is the hardest thing to do in life, but I say it was the most fun. Oh to be innocent again, no money worries, no grade worries, no worries….your only worries being not getting that fucking fire truck you always fucking wanted at Christmas…Man, I will never let my parents live that one down… I have to say that I am pretty happy where I am though…I would not trade Allison and Precious for anything in the whole world, even for that chance to go back and do it all over again. If anything, I would live those 3 weeks in Germany all over again…. When I was with some good friends and when I met Allison…. I will take the memories of my childhood to my grave and will look back upon them with tearful eyes, wondering what could have been had I done this or that. We will never know, and I guess that is the mystery of life. The future scares me, it always has. Not knowing, just the simple idea of not knowing what lies ahead is frightening. I guess its just the fact that we don’t know when it all could be over. Life is strange like that, and for those with faith it is only a reaffirmation that there is a higher power involved. Do you ever imagine what heaven would be like? I do…. and honestly, I think heaven is what you want it to be. When I get to heaven, it will be and my friends, all those people I have always wanted to meet, Allison & my puppy….and I live the greatest moments of my life over and over again…. That’s heaven…. To all of my friends I have met here in the last four years, I will miss you. I am sure we will all meet again…..in heaven.-adam